... fourteen, bop, sixteen, seventeen, bop, nineteen...

Robot Drum Corps unveiled in Aurora, Ontario

The Shallot, Snowball Corner, ON

March 30, 2004, last update: 2:32 p.m.

AURORA, ON - Marching bands entered the twenty-first century today with the announcement by the management of the newly resurrected Ambassadors Drum and Bugle Corps of Aurora, Ontario that they will present their 2004 band made up soley of robot musicians.

Corps director, John O'Fline, said that the move was made possible by a government grant for projects supporting a new Olympics bid in Ontario for the year 2020. He said that his organization decided on this unusual proposition as they found it difficult to find young people, who would normally make up such a band, willing to join the organization. "No one wants to sleep on gym floors and practise in the rain anymore. I blame the video games the young people play these days" said O'Fline.

The purchase of the more than 100 robots necessary to fill out the band's ranks is of great cost . Critics have noted that this cost is probably greater than the value of the initial grant and have speculated that funds from a local political candidate looking for promotion have made up the balance. Director O'Fline denied this: "The rumours of a name change to the Stronach Ambassadors are completely false".

The Ontario Drum Corps Association which oversees the competition and judging of drum corps in Ontario has be apprised of this move by the Ambassadors and has responded with several rule changes for its association for the 2004 season. The ODCA executive have decided that the robot corps will be judged under a new classification or league called Division VI or "Division six" and that any robot corps will be judged by robot judges. "We feel that this is the most elegant solution to this new development in drum corps competition" said an ODCA representative. "It would be unfair to have them compete with the corps that field 'real' members".

The Ambassadors have elected to field a human drum major or conductor and it is unclear how the new ODCA rules will apply to the corps because of this. "We couldn't find a robot that could execute the complicated salute that is traditional for our corps although our robot supplier has told us that they are working on it" said O'Fline.

[Does anything about the above post seem odd? Have a look at the post date. April Fool!]